Cola, even if your DS is, it doesn't mean there's not a problem or a mismatch with the teacher as well. Forgetting about your kid is not OK, no matter what. Baseline, the teacher needs to treat all children in her class with the same care and authority, even if they are all different, even if she doesn't like some of them (I don't like some kids I run across either -- doesn't mean they need to know that).
And I think we have to be careful that 'manipulation' in this sense isn't necessarily deliberate or delinquent. It's more "trying to change the environment is order to a) try to get some result or b) try to avoid something that may be unconscious (fear/anxiety/etc.)." The problem is that while it works with some people (parents!) it doesn't work with everyone and it's not the best way to operate.
Everyone can tell I've been reading "The Manipulative Child" right? And not a moment too soon for our household.
