(did she just roll her eyes at me??? What did she just mutter under her breath???). Help!
For some girls, hormones may start to be a factor at this age. This may be easier said than done, but since we are role models for our kids you may wish to be sure you
do not react, but rather
respond and coach.
For example, "
It's good that you're exercising independent thinking. You seem to be disagreeing with something I said? Rolling your eyes (or muttering) does not express yourself well. Please take a moment to put your thoughts into words." You can help her get to the bottom of it, possibly asking gently probing questions. Thinking things through, being mindful, and taking time to reflect can help a kiddo determine the reason(s) behind her feelings, the relative range from temporary to permanent of her feelings, and the size of various feelings in perspective. Sometimes it may resemble a game of 20 questions, but it can worth it to teach a child to stay in the conversation until something is adequately expressed/understood/resolved.
Does this mean that we might be DONE with the teen attitude early (please say yes)???
Yes, if she learns she can talk to you about anything (including disagreements with you), in a respectful manner, then she may outgrow any usefulness for attitude. LOL, there is something humorous about coaching a child to present his/her best case against something you've said as his/her parent.
You may wish to tell her that these will be essential life skills for negotiating healthy relationships, establishing boundaries, and also good practice for eventual self-advocacy.
You may also wish to read up on girl drama in books such as
Queen Bees and Wannabees and
Odd Girl Out, and ask her whether she sees these things going on.
