This seems to be a case of knowing your child and parenting in a way that works best. I'm with Bostonian on this one, and if you know me on this board, I'm one who tends to suggest looking into causes and talking to the child. For disrespectful behavior, not so much. If the child has an issue, they need to be respectful in talking about it. Communicating via eye roll or haughty voice is unacceptable. But that's MY kid. You don't roll your eyes at grandma (or anyone). Even if her suggestion is way off base, you smile and say "thank you I'll think about it". Y'all have different kids, and I totally agree with keeping communication open. So, we agree on that.
I am, too.
And for the record, it sounds as though several of you are living with Mini-DD. I'm actually laughing out loud at Blackcat-- because her DH's engagement sounds a lot like my DH's struggles with our DD.
She is
most of the time quite a delightful young lady now that she is 15. What she was frequently like (to us, anyway) at ages 7 through 12 doesn't really bear repeating.
{shudder}
I'm kind when I tell her that things are not "acceptable" methods of communicating, or of expressing her feelings-- but firm about where boundaries are. NO, you will
not use that clipped tone of voice with ME. Oh-no-you-don't.
