Yes-- like Dude and MoN, it's a matter of: a) picking battles that have to be won, and b) knowing that I'm doing the adult thing in teaching her that her behaviors have pretty predictable consequences.
So if she is nasty or snotty-- real world consequence dictates that she NOT get whatever it is she is after. Period. Doesn't matter how inconvenient or unpleasant it is to me.
And by the way, I strongly discourage ANY indication that the parental unit finds denying the child what s/he is seeking as anything of the kind-- more like "routine" or "what is easier for me anyway, makes no difference." Even better if you can shrug and maintain a completely neutral facial expression.
There is no "reward" for civil and non-manipulative behavior. That's a basic expectation, in our opinion as parents and as people. Building better relationships with others is the reward.
