The things that work(ed) for Aiden:
- Snacks; he always has access to healthy snacks and I refuse to even engage in a discussion/argument until he has eaten
- Water; when he starts acting up I immediately shove a glass of water at him
- removing him from around other kids before discussions/implementing calming techniques
- exercise; especially a longish bicycle ride, swimming, trampoline, playing with sand
- Tae Kwon Do; they have an ethos of self-control and the theory forms part of the gradings, they are always talking about it with the kids and giving practical examples. It's been a HUGE help
- firm and clear boundaries for all situations
- discussing things rationally once everyone is calm
- me learning to use communicative language instead of reactive language (book "how to listen so kids will talk" helped me figure this code out)
- Feed your brain"; Aiden needs at least 1 sit-down focused work session per day of at least 20 - 30 minutes. When he skips the things that really challenge him his intensity is so much worse. We noticed this from before he was 2. So now we have monitored it together to "prove" our theory. And so I just need to say "your brain is hungry" and he knows to go pick something challenging to do. To this end he has certain daily tasks that are a built in part of the day most days - violin practice, piano practice, Soroban maths practice all require daily practice as a part of the program.
Things that don't work:
- Timeouts
- Punishments
- Removing privileges
- Emotional blackmail/guilt
- Reverse Psychology
- long lectures
- holding up another child as the ideal example
Triggers and what works in immediate situations:
- Taking away from the situation when there is too much external noise; he is always loud, but also has auditory discrimination stuff so as soon as there are too many varied noises around him he starts to freak out
- red colourants, too much sugar; I know it will lead to issues within 10 minutes, so I flood with water and lots of distractibility
- Uncertainty/surprises; I just stay a bit closer - we have a code word he can use when he is not coping and it's a plea for me to get him out immediately. This works well for parties, new experiences, crowded events etc.
Last edited by Madoosa; 08/04/14 01:10 PM.
