DD9 is extremely strong willed, although I would say her way of acting out is more verbal, than physical. She often "talks back" like a teenager, despite the fact that she is NOT a teen! She looses toys, privileges, goes to time out - and she STILL talks back at home. I would say, overall, she has always been a bit impulsive, although she seems to be controlling this at school (she had a harder time with this at school when younger, as in act first and think later).
DD is intense - everything is BIG with her. Big feelings - whether happy or sad. She can be a blast to be around when she is happy (best big laugh, ever), but when she's not - no fun.
DH and I find ourselves "having serious talks" with her often, but she often just doesn't seem to take them to heart.
One thing that DOES seem to work is praising DS6 within earshot of her for being kind. We do not usually do this on purpose (we are usually just trying to reinforce DS's good behavior), but this DOES seem to make DD stop and think...if only briefly.
I wish I had more suggestions, but we are trying to figure this out, too.
I have no idea if this means anything: when DD took the WISC, she had a very high processing score, combined with an average (but much lower than other scores) working memory. Her reasoning scores are also very high (particularly the VERBAL). I guess why this struck me was how her mouth sometimes moves quicker, than her "pause button."
That is, it made me wonder if she is not somehow "wired" to be a quick talker, quick thinker - but perhaps NOT with the best impulse control. Still, we continue to work on it. She is NOT a patient person, and we are trying to teach patience. At times, yes - it is stressful.
