Another meeting.... another opportunity to be snapped at, interrupted, ignored, talked at with hostility and basically told we won't do whatever it is that I'm suggesting.
So how do I change the emotional tone of the meeting while still staying true to what our DS needs?
I don't know the details of your specific situation, so I am not sure how helpful my advice will be, but fwiw, here it is:
1) Do your best to remain calm no matter what happens at the meeting.
2) Go into your meeting beyond well-prepared. Have a brief summary in writing of what you want to present as ideas/suggestions and a list of all the questions you can think of ahead of time. You don't have to give anyone the written summary or the list, but you'll have it to refer to so you can do your best to keep the meeting on track.
3) Be sure (as best you can) that solutions you are suggesting are workable, that accommodations you are requesting are reasonable and/or typical, etc.
4) Take notes.
5) If you are getting push-back from anyone at the meeting, try first to simply listen, then politely restate your concern or request. If that doesn't work, negotiate if you can. If negotiating isn't going to work for you, simply and calmly state that you will not be able to come to a mutually agreeable solution at this meeting, and either move on to the next item on the agenda or politely let everyone know the meeting is over and leave.
6) Send everyone who was at the meeting a brief email stating your summary of what was discussed and decided upon at the meeting, and what (if anything) was tabled for a future discussion. Keep all emotion out of this email, and give the other folks an opportunity to reply with their perception of what happened at the meeting if they recall things differently.
7) If you feel the school team has told you anything or acted in anyway that is against school district policy or violates your child's rights under IDEA or Section 504, send a followup email outlining your concern. At this point, I'd consult with an advocate first. NOTE - I don't think this applies to your situation (?) because I think you are advocating for differentiation or acceleration or possibly high school credit, not for accommodations etc. (not sure?)
8) Accept the fact that you can't change the school staff and that all the advocating in the world might not get you what you want. We hit that brick wall and for us, it was *the single best thing* I've done in advocating to acknowledge it wasn't ever going to work. We left that school - I realize not everyone can leave or should give up, but if you can, that may very well be your best route to take.
Hope some of that helps,
polarbear
