I (fortunately!) have no experience of hostile meetings about DS, but just to start you off and based on tricky meetings about other things:
- Separate identifying the problem from planning to solve it. Commonest reason for rejecting a solution is non-agreement that the precise problem it's addressing exists.
- So maybe start by asking them what problems they see DS having. Cut them off if they move to discussing solutions, or causes. If they identify the same things you see, good. If not, add in what you see, with evidence ("the other day he said to me...").
- Sum up the consensus of what the problems are; get agreement, or if there's disagreement, make it explicit.
- Then turn to solutions. Analyse them by relevance to the agreed problems. If anyone proposes something that addresses a problem not everyone agrees exists, make that explicit.
- End up with a plan whose items are justified by reference to agreed problems. Identify any problems that don't have solutions addressing them; they may need further attention.
Good luck.
