Thanks again for all the thoughtful comments. In a nutshell, the teacher accused me of pushing my daughter for selfish reasons and I ended up writing a letter to the owner and principal. I mentioned that parents of at least two other kids share my opinion about her.

Re: the notes. She expects them to take notes on entire lectures, including methods and approaches, rather than just individual problems or homework assignments. IMO (based in part on what I've read here), teaching fifth graders how do this is a great idea, but expecting a fully formed skill from the first day isn't.

I agree that she's not going to change. I'm feeling really stuck here. DD loves this school and her friends there, but she's always been frustrated with math. Apart from one incident last year, we let it slide because overall, it hasn't been a major problem, and with minor exceptions, everything else about the school is wonderful. But the problems with Ms. T. are a big deal, and I'm torn about what to do.

Argh.

Last edited by Val; 09/12/13 10:22 AM. Reason: typo