In general, I have not had success in reasoning with people who's values sit so far from my own. For these people, I do not attempt to find common ground or to work towards a moment when favors might be asked. I am just polite the way I would be with religious viewpoints. People with eccentric practices are generally eccentric.

This teacher has called a meeting because they have something they wish to unload onto you. I would go, be courteous, and listen to them, thank them for their opinions, and go home without getting into any discussion about what would benefit your DD, just like MON above says. It is not the moment to discuss exempting your child from their class or altering it in any way so that your DD can maintain her love of the subject. The teacher may not have much ability to imagine the experience of others, as dominated as she is by her own viewpoints.

I agree with MON that the teacher cares, but I'm not fully clear on what as again the values are so different from my own. I would hesitate to make assumptions. She might feel angry about skips in general and be looking for ways to punish your child for it in some passive aggressive sort of way. Or might genuinely believe in some misplaced yet honorable sort of way that her impact on punctuation etc will improve your DD. She may have forgotten why she marks off for those errors and is simply in the rut of a burnt out teacher. One might talk to other parents to gain more insight into the teacher, but I wouldn't ask her directly.

Short term I would work on your DD to help her understand that some teachers are eccentric or picky and how to tolerate that without feeling upset. She is old enough to understand that some people have very different ideas of perfection than her (or your) own. If she brings home work that has to be recopied due to simple pickiness on the teacher's part, let her do it while watching TV or while listening to music if she's still able to work that way. Try to show not to take it so seriously, yet still to do it to the teacher's specifications.

As time goes by you could begin making vague inquiries to the administration about the precedent etc for partial homeschooling or independent on site study or whatever other options you come up with, initially not mentioning a specific subject if possible.

Have an alternate plan in place before you make any conversation with the teacher about improving the experience, lest she be crazy enough to feel offended and take that out on your DD.

Considering it's potentially a 4 year problem it is worth approaching extremely slowly and cautiously.

Last edited by Polly; 09/09/13 07:15 AM. Reason: clarity