Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Most effective ways to discipline a gifted child??

Wow! Thank you ALL for the wonderful information. This is great!

Well, today has gone better. This mornings conversation went something like this:

- I need you to come get dressed now.
- Well, I will but I have to write all the states down first. (At this point he had written down 7)
- You can write until you get to 10 states but then I need you to get dressed.
- But there are 50 states and I need to write them all, THEN I will come.
- You can write the rest AFTER we get dressed if there is still time. As of right now you are WASTING time by not listening.

Believe it or not but he actually listened. I kept my voice monotone and didn't get worked up. Like someone said "Act bored. Don't engage. Don't get riled."

This PM I needed him to go to the bathroom before nap. (Yes, he actually is like clock work on going #2 right before his nap)
He was busy writing all the classmates down. This time I had to count to 5. But that always seem to work. The child is OBSESSED with numbers and time. A timer is a great idea since he regularly walks around with one anyway at the house....:-)

Also like someone else said. To give a warning like "At 3.32 we are going to eat a snack." I have done this before and he WILL look at the clock and come right at 3.32. This is a kid who WILL NOT come out of his room after nap OR let anybody in until it is 3.18 PM...I have forgotten about this tool of time, so thank you for the reminder.

About timeouts as a punishment. Like someone said, I will say "You are obviously out of control at the moment and you need to calm down in a timeout". Sometimes he will go put himself there too. I agree it is better to use it that way than as punishment.

Not sure if anything is going on at school which could make him act out at home. Possibly the fact that he is a PLEASER and might work really hard at it when in school. So once he gets home he has kind of "had it" with the pleasing...not sure.

I like the "lawyer" approach too. Never thought of this. I think it probably would instill a lot of responsibility on their part as well. Might have to work some of this in..

Reading all the comments I realize that a lot of his behavior is related to the response from me. I think he is extremely sensitive and picks up the vibe quickly. He is still just 4, even though (like someone said) he talks and acts way beyond his age. I think he can't control himself when feeling the tension from me.

It does work however to say this:

"I have asked you nicely 3 times, now I am starting to get upset. I need you to come now"

Just seems I need to sense the situation and pick the right approach weather it is counting to 3 or the above tactic.