Here's my two cents
I do not spank or yell (well, not often) and I do try to correct them privately, but I still will often get an upset child after being spoken to about behavior. Sometimes I even get told "Mom, why are you telling me this it makes me feel so bad." My response is that it is okay to feel bad, it is more than okay it is what tells you that you are a compassionate feeling person who feels upset with yourself when you hurt someone else. I tell them that it is important to learn to sit with that feeling and not try to rationalize it away (by blaming others or making excuses) because it is your moral compass.
Too many people these days do not want to take responsibility for their actions and/or simply can't or won't sit with some guilt or shame. Guilt/Shame feel HORRIBLE for a reason...they are the hangovers from bad behavior.
That being said, I have to sit on my hands and close my eyes to not try and make them feel better right away. We also always have a talk afterward that includes how/why the behavior occurred and that there is a difference between learning how to be in the world and being a bad person. I point out that we are all works in progress.
