I will add that fourth and seventh grades seem like the time when a lot of 2E kids fall apart, at least judging by the discussions I've had with other parents (our own experience mirrors this, fwiw). SO if your own is in one of those two years, take heart-- it probably won't get worse next year.
Hey, those are rough adjustment years even
without any ADD/ADHD issues.
4th/5th is when many gifted kids experience a total... hmmm.... not sure what to call it. "Identity crisis" seems pretty strong. But anyway, about age 9-10, they seem to go through this phase where, man... if their HEADS weren't attached... well, you know.
Then in middle school, about age 11-13, they start riding that hormonal/social roller-coaster from Hades.
Good times.
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As far as coping strategies go, I have known quite a few ADD/ADHD collegians that were unmedicated and relied on other coping strategies/scaffolding to help them. That can definitely work. It basically means establishing an
iron-clad routine, and then "hanging" additional responsibilities/commitments from that routine in time/space. That way you can keep track of everything, have temporal/spatial "checkpoints" so that essentials don't get forgotten, etc.
It's roughly the equivalent of cultured OCD-- but productive, if that makes sense. ("I closed the front door behind me as I came inside, so now I need to put my keys on the hook and check to make sure I locked the door. Because I closed the front door, so I have to do those other things now-- they belong together.")
And yes to executive function development continuing into young adulthood! Age 24-26 is about where that peaks for most people. It always tickled me no end when I'd meet those super-flakey freshman as juniors and seniors again, and realize that they had somehow become responsible young adults in the interim. It was like alchemy.
