Yannam, this seems like it may be a cultural difference, and maybe partly a "dad" difference (I see from a previous post that you are a father).
I agree with the posters that your D is working hard on educating herself with her reading. You should be very proud of this! It sounds like you were... you have applied for DYS, and had been boasting about her reading. But it seems like it was a blow to your ego when she did not perform as you expected in front of a crowd. You have a very long road to go as a parent with her. My daughters are in college and late high school, so I know that there are MANY twists and turns in your journey ahead.
You need to give serious thought to what kind of relationship you want with her, and how you want that path to unfold. If you make it clear to her that she is not acceptable because she is not "bold enough" or "not dumb enough" for you, you are setting yourself up for a conflict around personality traits that she can't control. You will likely ruin your relationship with her, in my opinion. Do you want your daughter to remember her childhood with you as one where she was pressured to be someone who she is not, and where you wanted her to hide or stop using her intellect? That isn't the basis of a loving lifelone relationship, in my opinion.
My gifted D (who is shy and loves to read) is also a tremendous writer, debater, entomologist, and philosophy student. If I had to guess, she will either be a crack attorney or scientist of some kind as an adult. She also has very high SAT scores, especially on the verbal side. If you can't accept that shy people can find career success (and they can, there are many ways to success besides being Donald Trump!!), at least know that her reading is building her verbal skills, which will likely help her to very strong SAT Critical Reading and Writing scores. Possibly even helping her get scholarship money to college. So if it helps you, think of every book she reads as contributing to good SAT scores and college merit aid later on...
Just because a child is gifted (and accepted to DYS) does not mean that they are perfect. Every human being has strengths and weaknesses. Your D was blessed with a sharp mind. It would be ridiculous (and futile) to try to stifle that. Sometimes I catch myself expecting my D to act older than she is or gifted in ALL areas, but that is not realistic. So I try to help her in the areas where she needs to grow. But in small steps, and with gentle words as much as possible -- works the best, and preserves our relationship so she is open to listening to me.
