When DD10 was little, she often chose books over people. She barely spoke in preschool and hated crowds -- so much that we stopped going to BIG birthday parties. She did fine with the family and small play dates. I tried to follow her lead and find situations where she could be herself. I tried to find balance through activities. I found that structured group events like music class or dance class worked best for her. Dance class in particular let her perform in a group but she didn't have to talk.
At 10, DD is an introvert but is not shy in a way that limits her ability to get along in life. DD dances, plays sports and has just started an instrument. Ironically, she recently expressed an interest in acting. She has one best friend and a couple secondary friends. She doesn't get involved in popularity contests because she doesn't care. She is fiercely independent and self-motivated. Her teacher knows that on the rare occasions when she raises her hand, DD often gives deep and thought provoking comments. She is a voracious reader and prefers to spend her time with a good book. I have worked with her about when it is okay to lose yourself in a book (a weekend afternoon with no other activities) and when it is not (during dinner at grandma's). Have there been times when I wished she were more outgoing? Definitely (like when she wouldn't answer the phone for fear of having to talk to someone she didn't know.) At the same time, it is who she is.
Please try to find peace with who your DD is.
As a kid, I would often bury myself in my books. This irritated my mother. She would tell me to stop wasting time and that I should go out and play. I often found this puzzling since I wasn't bothering anyone sitting in my room reading. I can assure you that my hours spent reading only benefitted me later in life. The majority of my formal education, including law school, required vast amounts of reading.
