Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional What is going on?!!! Need help, please!!

Hi Jen,
I'm sorry you are feeling so oppressed. Just when things were going so well. Before you jump to the ADHD conclusion (and that may be exactly what is going on) lets just go back to the basics.

1) have you asked your son what is going on?

2) How long have you been homeschooling? Perhaps the 'honeymoon' is over and he needs a little break to de-school for a awhile?

3) How long has the bad behavior been going on?

4) What does he do in his spare time?

5) Nutritional struggles?

6) Friendship changes?

7) Getting ready to grow 3 inches?

8) Getting ready to come down with the flu?

9) Sleep issues?

10) What is your stress level like? It seems like when you started HSing, you were 'at your wit's end' and a bit more stressed than usual. Was your son feeding off your emotions then and is showing the effect now that you've calmed down?

11)Scary TV or movies lately?

12) When can you first remember noticing that DS was 'impossible' - what was going on at the time

I've never (exclusively) homeschooled, so take me with a grain of salt, but all of us go through ups and downs with our selves and our families.
Here's my advice -

A) Try to schedule some time away from your son - no, don't lock him in a closet, but do try to arrange some respite.
B) Plan some nurturing activities, hopefully outside and physically active for the two of you together.
C) Journal (here or in private) and Talk (to a friend or religious leader or professional) about what is bothering you.
D) Go into 'observation mode.' Throw all your expectations out the window, be grateful for your health and his, and see what happens if you just observe. Cancel classes for the week and call it vacation. See if you can get your son to 'want' school. Meanwhile bake cookies, clean the house, go to the library, visit friends. Afterall, he's probably already learned more in the past few weeks of homeschooling that he would have learned in an entire year of school, so you don't have to be worried or stressed anymore. What would you do with DS if you had a whole year just to 'have health fun?'

This asynchronous development is no fun at all. I wouldn't be suprised if there aren't a few periods where he has to 'catch up with himself' a bit before forging ahead. But I do trust that a child will always - if allowed - rediscover from within the excitement of learning.

As your son's learning coordinator, I think it's a bit like body surfing. You learn how to time the waves and launch yourself at the just right time, and let the natural currents carry you from there. Your abiltiy to see which waves will be strong and which ones aren't will get better with experience. Your will be able to work with what nature hands you will improve.

As for dealing with the meltdowns, do you already have a favorite parenting book? If not, you can borrow my current fav: