You guys have gotten me through this day!!! Thank you! I sent ds to grandpa's house and went out for a manicure/pedicure and a hair appointment. I feel like a new woman! It helped getting a little time away from ds for me to get it together. Of course, I'm still worried, but I feel like I can start fresh next week with a new, more relaxed approach. I'm also going to try to limit downtime by adding in some more games and outings.
I have to say, ds isn't a behavior problem so much as he's just exhausting to be with sometimes. It's more about the hypersensitivities, negativism, perfectionism, and meltdowns (not angry, more like "poor me") than it is about misbehavior. He is never defiant nor does he try to break rules. He's just impulsive, and like my dh always says, for someone so smart, he sure does some dumb things! LOL
I have no patience for giving up on things. That's probably the biggest issue for me. Ds just expects to understand everything the first time he tries, and he wants to do it HIS way. He is certain that HE knows the best way to do something. For example, we were working on multiplication today. I'm trying to use nontraditional methods, so we were using his trains. We were only doing 2X1, 2x2, etc. I'm pretty sure he understands the concept, but I need to know for sure. So, I explained what to do and demonstrated. "2X3, we want to make two groups of three, now count the total." No, he wanted to do it in his head or use his fingers. Using the trains was "boring." When we got to the higher numbers, he couldn't do it in his head immediately (he doesn't have the times tables memorized) so he freaked out, started crying, said how stupid he is, how he can't do ANYTHING! We hear this so often now, I'm immune. I feel that it's his way of manipulating. I don't think he really believes he's stupid.
I know I'm his mom, but is it my job to jump through hoops to create an unrealistic perfect world for ds? If that's the case, he's in for a rude awakening, when I'm not there to help him. Oh dear God, did I just say that?!!! I'm glad my mother wasn't here to hear those words!! I'd really be hearing "I told you so!" She used to say that to me all the time when I was young!! She says to me all the time, "NOW do you understand?" Haha!
I think I'll look for some books on dealing with perfectionism. That's probably the hardest thing to deal with and it's the toughest thing for us to help ds deal with. I want him to feel good about himself. He's the most loving, caring, sensitive child I've ever known (we probably all say that!), and I'm very proud of him. But, he's definitely the square peg that's never going to fit into a round hole. Sometimes that's a blessing, and sometimes it just makes me sad.
