Well, IMO, children that are fortunate enough to have adults around them to teach them coping skills and scaffold their school experience and "keep them in the game" can grow into successful adults (like those giving excellent advice on this forum). Unfortunately, I've watched several PG and HG people grow up in families that either did not provide this kind of support or it did not work for them. Many went down a different path. The path goes something like 1) poor grades in school due to not turning in work or not fulfilling requirements 2) school counselor interprets this as "bright, but troubled" or "not really gifted" 3) student guided to remedial classes resulting in even greater boredom and cycles back to step 1 until the end of high school 4) student is always the smartest in the room, while both bored and disinterested, and displays unwavering snarky cynicism to one and all (thus alienating teachers and students alike) 5) student does not go to college because school is "stupid" and "pointless" 6) adult works series of low income jobs, gets fired often, plays a lot of video games, watches tons of movies, or reads a lot of books, and is bitterly dissatisfied with their life. Throw in some drugs or alcohol to blunt the pain and you get a serious mess. A variation on this theme is going to college and underachieving there due to a lack of EF and then proceeding to step 6.
Ouch. Sorry to be so negative, but sadly, I've known quite a few people who are now in their 40's-60's who've gone this route. There probably are people who do get it together later in life, but my life path has not intersected with theirs. A few EF challenged gifted adults I've known have life changing experiences after high school like joining the military, marrying a super organized, super involved spouse, or some other major event that provides or requires external organization and the opportunity to learn how to make it internal. These events seemed to occur when they were between 18 and 25.
This, to me, is why it is so important to help our gifted kiddos acquire the EF skills to "stay in the game" and have the chance to find that special situation that works for them.
I agree with this to some extent. This is really one of the biggest fears I've had for my DS. On the other hand there is some "middle ground". Not all low EF kiddo's are going to go down that path. And not all of these kids are "low" EF it's just their weakest point, they are average in EF but since they are gifted teachers & parents expect above grade/age level independence because they are so "bright". Wouldn't it be nice if gifted but lower EF kids didn't decide they were stupid after having troubles keeping up with those with high organizational skills and therefore didn't go down this spiral.
Working on EF skills with these kids is a good idea. They will need it, can't keep a job if you don't show up on time. But it does seem realistic to realize that we aren't going to turn them into super organized & efficient but we can help them become into good, competent and interesting adults. A combination of accommodations and remediation seems like it's more likely to work in the long run.
The situation with many gifted kids isn't that their EF is very low, but rather not on par with the rest of their IQ. Teachers/schools don't always recognize that just because you are gifted intellectually you might not be average in learning organizational skills.
My point is that the intense organizational needed to keep track of 6-8 classes at once skills needed for B&M junior & high schools aren't necessary the skills they kids will need in a job. But they are quite likely to be ones needed to get through university and get that job. There are alternatives particularly at the university level. There are universities that teacher one subject at a time, for one month rather than the traditional semester system. Most of the local universities here in CA run on a quarter system (3 quarters make a normal school year) and thus students take 3-4 classes per quarter rather than 4-6 per semester.
My last point is I've seen kids who were scaffold and taught coping skills end up with high anxiety who have had bumps in the road once they are really on their own. Scaffolding students into a situation that can't cope with on their own is it's own recipe for disaster.
