And the note about teachers/etc not noticing it - my children are angels outside of my house. I hear about that all the time. Sometimes I am convinced the teachers/coaches/whoever/ must be talking about someone else's children! They are sooooo not angels at home! Just remember - at home our kids can be themselves. In public they are trying their best to be accepted - and if they are behaving in public that means that the behavior lessons you are teaching them at home are working, it's just not apparent at home. That's all. At home they can let loose and act out and know that, at the end of the day and through it all, they are loved. They don't have that same security out in the real world. Soo.... they act out with the people who love them most and behave for the people who are truly incidental to their lives. Or at least my kids do. We have lots of deep talks at home about the irony of this
polarbear
I followed this whole topic with intense interest - mine are "perfect" out and about, but oh my gosh, so exhaustingly horrible at home sometimes. The car can be the worst place as they are smashed in there with nowhere to go. Our former psychologist recommended something that has worked very well for us (most of the time). The girls (10 and 11) have to "earn" something they desire, be it mommy reading at night, a special snack, etc. They have to "use nice tone, hands to self, use nice words" for only 30 minutes, and the reward immediately follows the 30 minute time period. They get only 2 warnings and then "so sorry", no treat or book, whatever. It's the 30 minutes and positive reward that does the trick. I had tried using rewards for a whole day of good behavior. Nope, too long. Short periods of time is the way to go.
Perhaps this can help others. Now I am on to post about something else!!!!
