We have the same problem at my house and it is overwhelming at times. Now both my kids have entered puberty (somewhat early) which makes me wonder if I was someone very evil in a former life. smirk

I will freely admit I haven't read this book (who has time with all the squabbling?), but I own it, and it is highly recommended by all my counselor friends:

http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212

As for "no talking in the car," I consider that a safety issue.