My DD was so effing weird at 3. Does that help? wink I mean, that was an age at which I REALLY thought we were looking at a diagnosis. Some of her "stuff" was not dissimilar to what you descroibe, and these days none of that is really related to what concerns us. It's not known as a difficult age for nothing, and I think a lot of typical kids seem odd then. One of DD's friends who is now the most "normal" child you can imagine was virtually mute and seemed so terribly introverted at that point, with behaviors no one understood.

You probably will not like this advice, but it might be sort of instructive to get him into some group situations more often. You might get a better sense of what you are looking at, it's good to see what other adults see in his behvaior and how he does with other authority figures, and you could probably use a break.