aquinas, I can understand why you are concerned. More than a 1/3 of what you wrote applies to my DD4.
Her life functions are not severely impaired but I am starting to worry about her a lot. I don't really understand her and she and I are very close. A lot of DD's issues come down to compliance but she also seems very ADHD.
For us, despite some of the problems we've had, sending her to a small school where she was forced to socialize with children of all abilities was the right call in the long run. It hasn't been easy and when she comes home complaining about feeling lonely and disconnected, my heart aches for her but it turns out a lot of the problems was caused by her social rigidity (my way or highway). She can't always pick and choose people she has to work with, even when she is an adult so I wasn't comfortable with limiting her socialization to the few friends she has chosen. We are trying to give her life skills and remediate some of her ADHD traits even if they never become severe enough to get a diagnosis.
So I agree with Dude. Even if the behaviors do not add up to a disability, they still need to be addressed if they are having a negative impact on his development.
