I just think that some people don't fit in anywhere into society, and those people are better off numbing their pain than constantly trying to find a place...
There is no point putting our kids out there for a one in a thousand chance, or one in ten thousand chance.
What do you mean by this? That there's no point helping a child develop an internal locus of control, teaching a child to love his/her authentic self, or securing an appropriately stimulating environment? Because basically every researcher on giftedness suggests the complete opposite. A person deserves psychological stability and support irrespective of intelligence. I don't think you'll find many parents on a forum dedicated to serving the needs of the gifted agreeing that substance abuse is an inevitable (and, by your estimation, preferable) result of extreme giftedness, nor that parents should resign themselves ex ante that their children's needs won't be met.
I say this with all respect and sensitivity intended, but maybe it would be helpful for you to find a professional experienced with gifted issues to speak to about your experiences. Living with a child's giftedness can reopen old wounds if you had a bad experience as a child. Your view of giftedness as expressed here is unusually negative, and your children will pick up on this in forming their own views about themselves and their place in the world.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the resources and possibility available to gifted children when the team of adults around them is mobilized around their cause. The hundreds of actively posting parents on here are a testament to the reality that giftedness, though it can be challenging, is a tremendous blessing.
