The things polarbear mentioned are what really matter.
Does anyone else share my feeling that we are just being told this by people who have most of the money, to keep us quiet?
Possibly not, as it has been several days and no one has responded.
Some may see your statement (
people who have most of the money encourage others to keep them quiet) as rudeness to polarbear, myself, and others who've volunteered time to encourage you and attempt to address your numerous concerns. Your statement may not get you a lot of love
*.
*recent post, "Telling people xxx ... is really not going to get you a lot of love..." I just have this sense that I was tricked into a career in public service, into being generous and taking time off to be with my babies as infants, all for "intangible" rewards. I feel that all these warm and fuzzy feeling things are kind of a confidence trick. "You should feel good about helping, not demand money for it." Well where does that leave me? And everyone who says that managed to get money and is comfortable.
At what point do you take responsibility for researching possible outcomes and being accountable for your decisions?
When you don't have money, you have no control over your life.
Chris Gardner was mentioned up-thread. He maintained an internal locus of control and can be an inspiration to us all.
I've got the whole, do nice things, be a good person, do fulfilling stuff, make a nice family thing down. No problem. What I need is cold, hard cash.
You sound unhappy.
Might the introduction of new resources, possibly free accessible web resources such as Khan Academy or others, help him spark his interest in learning and struggling through material... possibly acquiring study skills and developing the growth mindset would help him to avoid underachievement if he is underachieving, and even qualify for some level of advanced academics.
I think this is the real difference between gifted kids and high-performance potential children. He won't do that. He won't take our lead on this and he's not interested in being advanced. He has taken his label and said he's happy with it.
Many parents discuss and weigh whether to accept a child's trajectory or to decide to intervene (possibly utilizing psych/therapy/counseling services) to convince DCs to make full use of their skills, talents, and potential.
I do think that we have a similar outlook
Our eyes may see some of the same things, possibly we have a similar SES vantage point, however what we've internalized and chosen to focus on may be quite different, giving us a dissimilar worldview.