That's very sad, and it isn't what happens in good babyrooms. But more generally, these perception differences are very odd. I wonder whether it's largely driven by the fact(?) that available daycares suit the needs of some children but not others - and maybe also that whatever these factors are are largely inherited so parents of children it doesn't suit think these places are awful, and parents of children it does suit think they're great?
Well, I can say with confidence that in the cases DW experienced, the perception difference was largely driven by the fact that she was an insider who had access to privileged information, so to speak. After all, this place in the example did not advertise itself with the slogan, "We'll keep your baby alive."
The information shared with the parents on a daily basis was often times an outright lie.
