Welcome Mana - this is going to be quick as I don't have much time, and I apologize for that - hopefully it will make sense. It sounds like your SO is dealing with baggage from his own childhood, but at the same time he seems to have a good sense of what a child needs and clearly has your dd's best interests at heart. When he wants to let her be just a child and not worry about gifted etc - at 2.5 yrs, that's not bad advice at all - it's actually good advice imo. Giving her a chance to explore the world as she wants to, hanging out with her, taking her to activities and events and places outside your home, exposing her to opportunities to learn but not obsessing over it - those are all wonderful ways to spend those early years with *any* child, gifted or not.
I'm guessing once she's closer to school age and you begin looking at schools, your SO might be more in agreement with you than you'd expect at this point in time re her education - once you're looking at actual schools and seeing how the day plays out in each.
JMO, but I'd worry less about looking at your dd as gifted at this point and just look at her as your child, any child. I suspect you'll give her what she needs to meet her intellectual curiousity anyway - without that frame of thinking of her as gifted. But that's just me
Best wishes,
polarbear
