Wyldkat...

If she knows it's an issue and is not sure where to go, than I think you should speak up and help her see that expecting kids to get along and oz not going to damage them. You could remind her that they probably act very different at school where there are clear rules. I have a good friend whose kids are most likely naturally more sttong-willed than mine (and I see them every day st the bus stop). She was discussing how time-outs don't work tor her (though I can clearly see she gives LOTS of warnings with no follow through). Instead of challenging her consistency, I suggested the Transforming the Difficult Child workbook. She hasn't read it, and the kids are still a mess - but me suggesting the book didn't corrupt our friendship any.