Ok, some of the responses seemed to suggest that I am being judgemental of this parent's parenting style. I am, but simply to the extent that I have to deal with these children on a regular basis AND have had their mom comment to me many times about their behavior (she doesn't like it either, but doesn't want to break thier spirits). I would never tell her she is a bad mom or doing it "wrong". It's her family. Yes, I feel she is doing them a disservice, but that is my opinion and I am not her.
My real concern is that her children do not know how to interact in a polite manner with other people and that she can see this and doesn't seem to know what to do about it and not "break their spirits". I really appreciate the book suggestion and will find a way to get it into her hands.
We see these children multiple times a week and I babysit them every so often. The older child will behave at my house because when I was first watching her I was very clear that it was my house, not her home and that if she ever wanted to come back she would behave like a decent human being. I now rarely have trouble with her. The younger one hasn't had that talk with me yet. I know they are good kids, but it's SO hard for other people to see that because of the behavior.
