Momtofour...
It is surprising how easily little ones can learn to compromise. I have a ds6 and dd2...admittedly, they get along really quite well. But we have a lot of possession issues especially with my dd2 who thinks everything is hers the moment my ds lays claim. By "counting" (which is really just giving the warning "figure this out or I will"), I don't take sides. Sometimes ds is the instigator, sometimes dd - but often it's both of them antagonizing one another. And boy do they LOVE to play the victim! I think a parent should actively intervene when there is a bullying issue with siblings - but so often kids feel resentful of how parents "side" with the youngest (for example)...and the parent's intervening just leads to MORE resentment and "sneaky" behavior. But of course, not all kids benefit from the same parenting interventions - just wanted to share our experience.
