Am I a little crazy? Yes, definitely. But even my friends who think I am crazy with my food, eco-friendly cleaners, and wooden toys tell themselves I am like this because I have a good reason.
There are 2 separate things here.
You can make choices in life that are different from the crowd because of your life-experience.
You can beat yourself up emotionally because you are in the early process of learning to deal with your inner directed perfectionism and aren't quite there yet.
Those are 2 separate issues and I think it helps to separate them in your self talk. I promise you that you will die someday of something. I hope you find a way to live that doesn't speed that up. The question is - to what extent will you ruin today over it?
The whole point of having ideals is that they are ideal and if a person could easily live up to their ideals then those ideals would be too low, yes? So how are you going to treat yourself when you don't live up to your ideals? It's not ok let those destructive thoughts run around over and over in your head '
because' X happened in the past. Those are 2 unrelated - although intertwined - things.
It is perfectly fine to make whatever choices you choose about your diet and environment. It's normal to have the bit of warning guilt in your belly for a bit of time after you don't live up to your ideal. BUT - If you are feeling overwhelmed with remorse...ut oh - you are being aggressive towards yourself, and using the 'slips' as an excuse. I hope that's clear enough.
The reason I asked you to write the positives, is to check if you are just plain depressed. Given the 'no sleep' and '24/7' nature of the job, it's something to be wary of.
Peace,
Grinity
