By letting her stay with your husband, you are providing the very valuable opportunity for the two of them to develop their own relationship. Not letting them have time alone together would be cheating both of them. Seriously.
Children have two parents. Adults need time to themselves, time without another body on them and at them. You are better equipped to be the great mommy you want to be when you have had an hour or so to yourself knowing that your DD is in good hands - and I'm sure that with your DH counts as being in good hands.
As someone who firmly believes in the virtues of whole foods, the dangers of xeno-estrogens, and the mind-numbing effects of TV, I can tell you that, despite the occasional "lapse", you are almost certainly providing a much cleaner, healthier, and supportive environment for your child than the overwhelming majority of children will ever experience.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I will be blunt here. I only feel free to do this because I've been exactly where you are (in Florida in the summer in a new home, no less), and if someone hadn't been blunt with me, things might have gone very differently, and not at all well. Your child will not be stunted developmentally because you ate junk food because it was quick and easy and tasted good a few times while you were breastfeeding, and your child will not be stunted developmentally because she occasionally played with a plastic toy from Grandma, and she will not be stunted developmentally because you let her sit in front of Sesame Street for thirty minutes once in a while while you actually ate a meal and talked to another grown up human being, but
having a mother who gives herself a mental breakdown from trying to live to an impossible standard could do real damage. Your job is not to be the perfect mother. Your job is to be a good-enough mommy for the child you have to get what she
needs - not everything she wants. And that starts with taking care of yourself well enough so that you can take care of her without having a breakdown.
I'd send hugs, but the last thing you probably want right now is someone hanging all over you, so I'll just send a virtual sensory deprivation chamber instead.
HTH
