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On the other hand there is also real element of manipulation in this instance I feel. It is very, very hard to give dd space for learning (I love that as a description btw). She is a kid that needs company every moment of the day and that company has to be involved company. And I give it to her in the main - so I don't think it is a matter of not having a connection (more of needing never ending connection!) However it is not enough to sit with her while she is drawing or chat to her while she is playing. She is insistent that the involvement include direct participating with whatever she is doing and preferably me doing anything that is a challenge. If I am busy and/or I let her know that I need some time for myself she will often sit and wait until I am done - even if I have set her up and then removed myself. For a while she was playing really well on her own, but is now back to the sitting it out. With the bed time reading, she will happily read any level of book to us at bedtime after we have read if we will stay (and will extend this out and out and out if we let her). But she will just flick through books if we don't. She mostly she flicks through chapter books, but doesn't read them. If I felt that she was using the time to look at pictures I would absolutely agree that that is worth while, however I don't think it is anything other than wanting to staying up longer - which of course means seeing more of us as we come back to tuck her in (aside from this element of it, I have no issues with her preferring to be read to - and I love reading to her). However maybe I will lay off encouraging her to read during that time and see what happens.
I had to laugh when I read your post about your daughter. YOu have just described my son exactly. Like your daughter, he will also sit for 30 minutes waiting for me to take a nap at the edge of my bed. He needs constant interaction and participation from me. I have tried everything to change his need for constant companionship but nothing has worked and I've just given up and accepted and just accepted it. It used to worry me when he was younger a lot too. He's only five now but this has been an issues since he was two. My son seems to be okay though with anybody from adult to kids. He doesn't care who he is interacting with as long as they are engaging with him so it doesn't have to be just me which I was relieved to figure out after he went to preschool and made friends.
The interesting thing is now wonder if he would be so into learning if it weren't for the amount of attention he gets from me when doing things challenging. Maybe he always wanted me to read to him for hours on end as a toddler because it was a way for him to ensure that I would be by his side. On the flip side of this though is perhaps he needs certain kind of play and learning that requires peer or adult interaction. For example, at the park he never just runs around and climbs on the play structures like other kids. He always has to have a play scenario with characters while he is at the playground running around. He can do these things with either a parent or peers but he does not and will not play by himself.
I used to think he was really manipulative too and it would drive me up the wall. I worried about him giving up in school and falling apart in Kindergarten.Now that he is in school 7 hours a day and is a functioning student in a gifted classroom, I worry less about his ability to do stuff for himself. So far the teacher hasn't complained and he does do things in class that are challenging for him. The problems seems to be just a at home thing, which is a relief. So I guess I'm trying to say that it may not be a problem for her later on in school.
