Hmmm. Are you writing about my DS6? He has had a history of having a hard time with independent play. In retrospect, we would have tried really really hard to have another kid right away after DS, so he'd have a built-in playmate!
I highly recommend playdates, to give your DD a chance to play without parents.
As for the reading, we went through the same thing with our DS. We knew he could read at high levels, because occasionally he would correct us when reading Willy Wonka at age 4, and occasionally he would even read a page to us. But he wouldn't read on his own. He likes to be read to. He still does. We worried about this too, but after advice from this board (I'll see if I can dig up the thread), we decided that it really wasn't important at the time. We let it go, and read to him. Now, DS6 is in 2nd grade and he seems to actually enjoy picking his own books from the school library and reading them on his own. He seems to like to pick the books that are interesting and still challenging, but short (like the old Babar books). He also likes the short DK Star Wars books. (DK readers are great, by the way - they have tons of topics, many reading levels, and lots of great pictures.) I think it is hard for the little ones to read long pages of books. Their eyes aren't ready for it.
We still read to DS. We don't plan on stopping anytime soon. We've seen the most reading to himself during long car trips. I think sometimes that there are just too many other distractions at our house (possibly even his fun parents!) so he prefers to do other things than reading. Good luck!
Oh, and with the shoes.... DS6 still cannot tie his shoes. Our solution - Merrell's and those elastic lace tennis shoes with velcro. At some point, we're guessing he'll need to learn how to do it, and he'll find motivation. I'm thinking scouts.
