Kriston and kimck, I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences. I know our library and local Y have groups for homeschoolers. I don't know much about them, but I'm going to look into them. But other than that, I don't know of any that aren't religiously focused, which wouldn't work for us. I will keep looking.
The classes at the YMCA and the library are a good sign that there's an active homeschooling community.
I'd strongly recommend asking people you see out with older kids in the middle of the day if they're homeschooling, and if so, what are they doing for homeschooling groups. (Make sure to be clear that you're interested because you plan to homeschool, not because you're meddling. Some people ask questions like that because they want to criticize. <eye roll>)
One of the most active inclusive homeschooling groups in our area is completely invisible unless you know someone already in the group. They have no Internet presence and they're not listed anywhere "official." It's all word-of-mouth. So ask around! Start now.
I feel like doing those, plus adding interactions with other homeschoolers and maintaining friendships she's had through school should be enough. But I can't seem to convince my husband. He's afraid that she will be missing out socially because she would be working with me mostly and won't have the benefit of being in a classroom 6+ hours a day, eating lunch with friends, working on projects with friends, that sort of thing.
...Kriston, did you encounter any of these concerns from your husband or other family members? And if so, how were you able to persuade them?
Grinity asks a good question: what precisely is it that worries your husband? Ask him to be specific. Is he afraid she won't know how to behave in a college classroom when the time comes? Or is he worried that she won't have any friends? Those are two very different issues.
My husband was behind homeschooling 100%, but my mom, a former teacher with some very negative views of homeschooling, was not. I approached her by telling her why I thought homeschooling was a better fit for DS than our other options. Then I asked her what her concerns were. I researched for answers--honest answers! (Nothing is all good or all bad!)--and I presented these to her.
Mostly she was worried that he would have no interaction with "the real world." We discussed how "real" it is to be in a room with one adult who is "the boss" and a bunch of kids who are within 12 months of your age. We talked about when in life you have to ask permission to go to the bathroom and have to wait for everyone to catch up to you before you can move on. (Imagine that in an office...)
I showed her my plan for classes and teams that DS could be part of, so that he would have experience working in groups. I showed her a list of fun social events the homeschool group had each year. I listed off the friendships he had that we would nurture through playdates.
She was also worried that DS would have only one perspective to learn from: mine. I reminded her that elementary students in our schools have one teacher, plus seeing an art, P.E., and/or music teacher for a few minutes each week. My homeschooled son has 7 different teachers this year. That doesn't include non-school leaders like coaches. Even before we found the school for homeschoolers, he always had plenty of classroom-type activities led by people other than me.
She was not completely sold, but when she saw that I was addressing the issues head-on, she was okay with letting us try it. It has been very successful, and she now seems to value homeschooling as a good solution in DS's case. She actually did some homeschooling of DS8 last year so that I could volunteer in DS5's preschool class. She was excited about the projects he was doing. Progress!
But I'm very direct. That head-on approach might not work for everyone. And ultimately, my mother had no real choice but to accept our decision. I was honoring her by addressing her concerns, but the final decision had nothing to do with her, really. A husband is a tougher nut to crack.
What sort of evidence is persuasive to him? Does he follow his gut or is he a data sort of guy?
