I think another very important point that I hear Grinity making is to acknowledge that this isn't just your child's issue; it's yours too. That was very important for me, a Spock-like INTJ, when it came to dealing with my highly emotional and highly expressive DS5.
Realizing that my reaction to his outbursts--and it wasn't always the reaction I'd like to have!--was my own issue was something that helped me. If I got upset by his upset, it got worse for both of us. Better to send him to his room to handle it if my response was going to make it worse for him.
And while we need to be consistent about how we respond, I think, that doesn't mean that we always have to handle every outburst from our kids the same way. In my case, some days I can remain calm and hold him while he disintegrates, and some days I need to ask him to fall apart elsewhere. I just make sure that he knows that it's okay to cry (though not to scream) and that I love him.
He seems to be getting better as time goes on, so I feel like it's going okay...
