My best advice: stop talking about your kids. The other parents will either see that your kids are way ahead on their own, but are also happy, healthy, "normal" people who are not being pushed, or they won't. Either way, it's not your problem. Talk about the weather, curriculum, the news...anything but GTness and how far ahead your kids are.
I know. Ugh, boy do I know! I don't just talk about them randomly or in a braggy sort of way or anything like that. I only mention things that I think are both relevent and will add something to the conversation. I *never* mention GTness, except in the situation I mentioned above where I gave some reasons as to why a homeschool parent would choose to place their child in a GATE program; no mention of my kids in any way, shape or form. Nor do I *ever, ever, ever* make any reference to how far ahead my kids are. I don't talk about what grade levels they are working on or even the subjects or anything like that. Even so, just mentioning something like what I posted above, which was in essence, simply having my daughter complete a task that *she* chose, was viewed as pushy on my part.
What it really means is that my participation in conversations will be reduced to the role of an observer. I can't pull from my experience even if it's relevent to the topic at hand, talking about the weather only goes so far, discussions on curriculum are limited because even the questions I ask raise eyebrows and illicit comments and if I comment on the various curricula *that* usually brings about a whole 'nother set of questions/comments. And talking about the news in my group is, in general, a bad idea. It would however keep people busy so that they couldn't comment on my kids, but it wouldn't necessarily be a good thing.
It's a hard line to toe and as I said if it weren't from some of the obtuse and asinine comments re: GTness (and not just about my kids, but GT in general), I'd be very happy with the group. This is the first group that I have found that I really like the majority of the group, but the GT issue causes an unspoken divide. I try to bridge the gap by leaving it out of things and by showing that I am accepting of them and their parenting at face value and that I believe they are doing what they feel is best for their child(ren) because they *know* their kid(s). I'd just like the same for me.
I'd like people to accept that I know my kids and that I don't do things to push them and that the things I do *are* appropriate for who my children are as individuals. I don't need "approval" but the bashing that creeps in constantly is starting to wear me down.
At this point, even though I know I am not pushing and I know that I know my kids, I still feel so "guilty" like I am doing something "wrong". I know I'm not, but it's there nagging at me. I want to grab it and stomp at it, but I can't because it's "conditioned".
Bleh!
