Originally Posted by ultramarina
I am of the opinion that middle school does not have to suck.

I notice that many parents have kneejerk negative beliefs about middle school. Gently, I would say that I don't think this helps. If we tell our kids that kids this age suck and are mean, this may be what they look for and expect.

ITA. Middle school can be challenging for sure, but it can also be a really fun time in a child's life. I have two dds in middle school, and really and truly, the girls (and boys) in their classes are wonderful. It's tough to find your space and fit in at a new school, and I'm guessing the girls that your dd sees everyday most likely went to elementary school together too, which doesn't help make it easier to find quick friends - but I'm also guessing there are at least *some* nice girls (really, I'm guessing most of the girls are nice... just haven't known that many kids who aren't nice once you get to know them)... so I would focus on finding ways to encourage her to find friends at school, in her classes.

The one thing I'd add - there seems to be an idea here that only quirky high-IQ kids are into Minecraft - almost every early middle school kid I've known (all over any spectrum you can think of) loves Minecraft. Your dd might not be seeing them playing it at school, but that doesn't mean the other girls wouldn't enjoy playing it. Even girls who are all about fashion, boys, whatever.

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I do think that middle schools in this day and age vary widely, though. Some are really with it as far as being on top of anti-bullying, social inclusion, etc, while others may be stuck in the dark ages.

Also agree - with this situation (this post), I wouldn't be quick to assume right away that the inability to find like-minded friends is due to not having found the "best-fit" friend. I think there's opportunity here to help learn how to find friends *wherever* you are. Even if the op was able to find an outside-of-school bff for her dd, wouldn't it still be nice to fit in and have a few friends at school to enjoy school with?

Best wishes,

polarbear