Aww, hugs to your DD, greenlotus. That is so hard. FWIW, DYS DD10 would probably love your DD. She'd chat her up about Minecraft and not care one whit about beautification of any variety.
Ditto to this. DD can make herself fit in by talking about the "girlie" stuff but I don't think any of her friends would sit around playing Minecraft all day like she does. And I can't even get DD to comb through her unruly hair much less be concerned with hairstyles. I am not sure how many times per day she rolls her eyes and says "oh my god" and makes a sarcastic comment, so they could do that with each other as well. I think it's just a matter of finding peers rather than something wrong with your DD.
