a habit of AVOIDING such terms, even when accurate
In the two examples upthread, other words may have been more accurate than "hate"?
1.
woman announces that she "hated the book we read that month" about which we had gathered to discuss
We later learned that a less
emotionally extreme, angry, hostile response may have better expressed the sentiment; The woman disliked the book:
did she really hate it? No, she just didn't like it... Where she comes from it's the opposite extreme - people are very negative, more comfortable with unpleasantness, a bit skeptical and untrusting of niceness, always skeptical, etc...
2.
When my DH and I were dating, we were in the grocery store and I was going through my cards trying to find this particular's store discount card and I said grumpily and exasperatedly "I hate that I need a card for every store I shop at - it's ridiculous..." and my husband was very taken aback... At first, I wasn't sure why and then he told me "hate" is an offensive word and certainly shouldn't be used near small children! Uh, really? In this context? Just odd to me. Then I noticed in our area once I had children... most children are not permitted to say "hate" I heard many reprimands - Example: child says, "I hate green beans!" Parent replies, "Child!!! we do NOT use that word!" Me "What word?" Parent, wispering" the "H" word - hate."
Hopefully
extreme emotions of anger and hostility are not cultured within a person for such everyday disappointments as grocery store check out lane inconvenience or side dish of vegetables, as alluded to in this post.
The article makes reference to "common cognitive errors" and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which may be useful for any individual to engage in meta-cognition or thinking about what one thinks, and why.
* The words "extreme emotion, anger, hostility" sourced from online definition of hate.
