I would not keep the advocate group's card in your back pocket - I would make an initial contact with them now. I found having the advice of an advocates group who understood the personalities and history involved in our public school worth it's weight in *gold* when advocating for our ds in elementary school. It's also possible that where you're at, you'll be able to get an advocate's advice free of charge. Be sure to check the yellow pages at
www.wrightslaw.org - the group we have in our state is funded by the federal government, and I think there is supposed to be a similar group in each state. (NOTE - I could be entirely incorrect about that!).
Next thing - I'd complete the neuropsych eval and learn everything you can there before taking the next step with requesting anything through the school district. This is for two reasons - the first and obvious reason is that you'll have a better set of documentation to start from. The perhaps not-so-obvious reason is, imo, the more important reason - you need to be sure you're focused on your child's needs for the long term, not just focused on a school battle. Yes, you have to fight your way through the school battle, but what your child needs is the bigger picture - understanding his challenges as best you can, and having a plan for *life*, not just for school. This may sound trivial, but it does make a difference when advocating at school. First, it helps put the school issue in perspective. You aren't just advocating for your child to be able to function successfully in classroom A, you are partnering with the school to help your child progress in an area that will help him be able to navigate life successfully. Second, the neuropsych will probably be able to help you with understanding where the best supports for your ds are going to be found in your community - will he be able to qualify for services at school based on what the neurospych sees/finds, will he benefit from school services or would it be better (in your community) to seek private therapies/services/etc, and if private is recommended, who to go to. The neuropsych will also likely map out a long-term plan for you, whereas a school meeting/plan is going to be focused on what your child needs for school this year and next.
Once you have the neuropsych report and a firm idea of what you want to request in a school evaluation, make a written request with what I call semi-details. State your concerns (behaviors at school, underachievement, whatever), briefly summarize what the neurospych found, and request a team meeting to consider eligibility for an IEP (or 504, whatever you feel is the correct choice after you have the neuropsychs report and advice). You don't need to list detail after detail re what you want the school to look at, but include a brief list that for sure includes cognitive/acheivement testing, and any additional evaluations you feel would be necessary and/or helpful. If the neuropsych recommended further testing (OT, for example or SLP etc), then add that to the list of the assessments you are requesting.
It sounds like the school did nothing "wrong" in their previous communications with you and denial of an eligibility eval for your ds. However, if you provide the school with private testing that shows evidence of a potential disability they are going to be on shakier ground if they outright deny an evaluation without at the very least calling a team meeting to make the decision to evaluate a *team* decision.
You've said you have no idea what the school is required to do - the advocates group can help with this. Even just a phone call might be all you need to help you get grounded in which direction to go, and what move to make. I also found that the book from wrightslaw "From Emotions to Advocacy" was extremely helpful - especially the sample letters that are included.
Best wishes,
polarbear
