I am so grateful for all of these responses. I talked to him today about how it is his best interest for his teachers to have a positive view of him. I asked him if he knows what "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar" means...and he did.
Funny--I had already encouraged (actually bribed) him to approach this teacher with an apology. I told him I would reward him for "risk-taking" and making himself vulnerable.
He stated (and this is true) that it does not bother him to apologize, but it bothers him to apologize to *her* because she is so easily offended. When he told me the whole story, I understand his perspective. He blurted out the correct answer to a math problem when no other student had it correct but the teacher was refusing to call on him because he was "acting like an orangutan" (he demonstrated the behavior and yes, he was being ridiculous). But at least he was on task and engaged, so I'll take that (little mercies).
I told him I am still challenging him to stretch himself by demonstrating an ability to understand her perception that he was a smart-alek. I really don't like to encourage Machiavellian behavior because his (brutal) honesty is one of his loveliest characteristics in a lot of ways...but he just *has* to learn that there IS a game, and up his "charm factor" a little.
The teacher knows he has ADHD and med issues, and that we are seeking further clarification. However, at one point I asked all of the teachers if they see his EF as the biggest issue (so I could communicate with his therapist), and she responded by saying NO, that was not the issue...and then listing a number of behaviors that are all governed by EF.
I have given up on anyone understanding him at this point. I offered him either a very fancy frozen custard treat OR a steak if he can muster the courage to apologize to the teacher. He said, "you really think you can get me with BEEF? Well...you might be right."
I am so excited school is almost over.
