There is a social curriculum which is popular and can be used by Michelle Garcia Winner. The introduction is called "You are a Social Detective". Then she has the full curriculum called "Super Flex". Some social therapists use this for their programs.
To help with scaffolding and practice, a social therapy group would be helpful.
Others have also found acting as helpful. It provides a script for different situations so they can learn appropriate behavior without setting themselves up for rejection.
Hope that helps.
This does help, a lot, thank you! The problem with finding a social skills group is the only ones I know about are for kids who have pretty severe cognitive and/or behavioral issues and that's not what we're dealing with at this point. There needs to be one for highly-verbal kids WITH their peers. My son is quite sweet with younger children and wonderful with adults. It's interaction with his own tribe that seems to cause most of the problems.
You are doing a great job identifying the problem and I am so impressed that he could deploy the coping statement after one conversation. He has the perfect parent for him (you). You both are going to get there.
I guess, technically, it was one conversation but it was a verrrrrry long one. The first time this happened, he was in total panic/meltdown mode (it was a joke about points on coordinate planes, that time). I kept him home from school and spent the day deescalating. These two detentions have both stemmed from the fact they use a token economy system and he keeps LOSING (literally) his currency so doesn't have it to pay when he needs it. So a relatively small offense can result in what seems to him like a major consequence (detention). THERE IS NO MORE OF THIS SYSTEM NEXT YEAR. Whew!
I will say there has been a certain amount of relief in conceptualizing this as a social communication problem (duh!) instead of a personality issue. I can't believe I didn't realize it before, to tell the truth. I think a huge part of the problem is that he appears to be so verbally mature and the entirety of his issue just didn't reveal itself until this year.
