eco- I am probably saying something similar to aeh, but some if my DS's social gaffes arise from inflexible thinking. In the instance of the field trip he could not think past the question that was asked and look for other possibilities. He also could not understand why his teacher seemed upset by his honesty, when he's been taught to tell the truth.
These are big problems for social understanding- inflexibility and empathy. When I say empathy, I'm not talking about decency and compassion- I'm using the word in the pure sense of being able to put oneself in another's shoes during a social interaction. Maybe a better word is metacognition
Social skills therapy can help.
Yes, this all resonates. I've been puzzling over my son for years and it's just now making sense. Part of the problem is that this is all a very different language for me. If I'd just read a list--I'd say my son is "flexible" bc he is a sort of laid-back guy. But this way of understanding it makes a huge difference. Ditto on "empathy." When I've read checklists on autistic traits, I've always denied that my son lacks empathy, because he seems to be a compassionate, loving person. But in the sense he doesn't understand others--this makes sense.
I don't know if the school would provide speech/language therapy for him if he's identified as autistic or other social communication disorder. Is that something that is available, privately? I feel like we need a small grant, to pay for all the things he apparently needs...
eco- If you haven't done so (apologies if I've overlooked this), a full evaluation that involves a full language evaluation would be helpful. My DS has had a neuropsych for ADHD, but prior to that he underwent a full speech and language evaluation (including two school evaluations). It identified deficits in social understanding. In fact, it was the language evaluation that prompted us to seek a neuropsych because I suspected DS had ADHD and it was contributing heavily to his social issues.
I was shocked to learn that a kid in the 99th percentile of verbal reasoning could have language impairments, but was told that these skill sets are different. Anecdotally, ADHD, language deficits and a gifted IQ can look like HFA, enough to one wonder. In fact the language evaluation and neuropsych both completely ruled it out.
If your son has language deficits, social skills therapy and speech therapy can help.
