Greenlotus the good news is you are not the only one on this board that has dealt with this. The bad news is also that you are not the only one on this board that has dealt with this. {hugs}
Over the years MON and I have had a sort of Yin and Yang approach to addressing these issues. She kills them with kindness. She is over the top sweet until they realize how clueless their behavior is. I, on the other hand, tend to use their cluelessness as a weapon to club them into submission. Whatever works for you and your child is fine.
The really good news is that your principal seems to be on board. I would use that to your advantage and go immediately to him/her. I mean immediately. I would forward that email exchange to the principal and request an *immediate* meeting. I mean as in you can be available this afternoon. If principal can't meet you today it could potentially wait until tomorrow but stress the need for immediacy. I mean N-O-W.
I guarantee the principal will have a discussion with this teacher about the importance of finding time to meet with you. If your psych says "NOW" then the principal will need to take that seriously and do whatever it takes to get the teacher to understand.
Unfortunately our totally clueless 2nd grade teacher never got it and we had an absolutely horrible principal. The staff at central office ended up spending countless hours cleaning up messes that were created. Yes I was a total pain in the neck but my approach worked. I presented information or requests. If the person didn't get it I went up the food chain. And up the food chain. And up the food chain. I had documentation and gained some important allies along the way. In doing this I may have esstablished a reputation for being "that parent" but I also established one for being serious, committed and on top of things. I earned credibility. Everyone knows that if I raise a question or concern it is legitimate and they check it out.
So MON's approach has proven very effective for her within her school environment. In our environment (and with my personality) playing nice fell flat. Choose the approach, or combination of approaches, that feels the most comfortable to you.
Good luck and be sure to keep us posted.
