My thought on 504s is that they are almost useless unless the teacher is on board and agrees with it and willing to follow it. So many of the modifications/accommodations you have to trust the teacher to do, and there is no way to verify or prove that it is being followed or not followed. I have had teachers disregard specific things even in DS's IEP, like making him use his slant board. That being said, it's helpful if there is an obvious violation, like the 504 says no timed tests and you can prove that she was given a timed test and it somehow counted against her (in terms of placement or getting a worse grade for example).
If she won't meet with you I would just show up in her classroom after school one day and tell her you have some questions. If she says she doesn't have time, ask her to call you and tell her that she can choose a time that works for her. If she refuses, I would report her to the principal. Teachers can't just refuse to talk to parents.
This teacher sounds like a piece of work and like she just doesn't buy into the ADHD or giftedness or want to work with you. Is there any way you can request a teacher change? We had a teacher like this last year who was very passive aggressive and I ended up pulling out DS in the middle of the school year and transferring to a different district school. I know you have been looking around at other schools so I'm guessing your options are very limited.
