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and big hugs to you and your DD.

I just looked back at your post from May. You said then that this upcoming meeting was to "tweak" the plan. From what you've written here it doesn't sound like any part of the plan you wrote about then is actually being applied. This therefore would not qualify in my book as a "tweaking" meeting.

My understanding is they had *5* days to get your plan in writing after the last meeting. A broken computer, replaced school psych, counselor not informing teachers or placing her in the correct class, not providing the reduced writing accommodation - these are all big problems but not something your DD should have to be baring the brunt of. This kind of thing makes me irate!

I tend to be among the more aggressive folks here so take my input with a grain of salt. I would go into the next meeting armed for bear. No more pleasantries as I ask nicely for favors. That didn't work. I would request that the district provide a thorough evaluation. Someone here can correct me if I am wrong but I believe they have to do their own evaluations first and then you can reject their finding and request an outside evaluation at their expense. I think you definitely need a good SLP evaluation and a neuropsych eval. It sounds like she has some serious difficulties that are going to get worse unless the school understands them and properly accommodates her.

Again because I have learned to be more aggressive I would stop the outside supports. Over and over I have seen parents spend innumerable hours and many thousands of dollars on outside supports so their kids can appear to function on grade level, masking their issues and allowing districts to say just what yours told you - she doesn't qualify for supports. It can be hard but I would take the position of she is NOT going to spend all those hours on homework, she is NOT going to write those sentences in math class but will do the bullet points you mentioned in May, etc. Let her know you have her back and she is not going to be in any trouble. Once the school team sees what she produces when she is operating on her own skill level they will have to provide accommodations. They have to see the problems as they exist in order to accommodate for them. Maybe at home with supports from you the 9 sentences in math might be possible - they are seeing for themselves how hard it is on her own.

Your second opinion may say that these are the right accommodations but it sounds like she's not actually receiving them. That needs to become the district's problem. Right now it's your DD's problem. That dynamic has to change.

Hang tough - you are doing great. In my experience you have to be willing to let a little Mama Bear show through to protect your cub. Right now she sounds rather overwhelmed. Poor kid...