Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Sick, Sick, Sick of Helicoptering

DeeDee - our transition IEP had every teacher in attendance from his classes this year, the special ed chairs for mid school and for high school and the counselor he has for mid school and the one he'll have for high school. He asked to attend.

The IEP started with the teachers wanting to give their candid thoughts about him, so they asked if he could step out of the room. His response was, "I personally don't care what you think of me, so my feelings won't be hurt. I'd rather stay and listen to what you have to say in case there are things I can address." This, of course, set the tone for the meeting and set the teachers off. We spent a half hour with all but one complaining about his work ethic, his laziness, his inability to turn things in or find work, the unwillingness to treat them with the respect they deserved, and his inappropriate comments that made the rest of the class laugh or misdirected the lesson into something that didn't matter. My kiddo listened to all of it, challenged a couple of the complaints and ended up being right, and actually apologized when he discovered that something he'd done had hurt a teacher's feelings when he had no idea that is how she felt.

When one of the teachers told him that he was in danger of failing 8th grade, my kid told them, "No, I'm not. This is a social promotion state, and you'd have to get my parents to sign off on me being held back. And they're not going to hold me back because of some zeros because I haven't had the right support here."

It lasted three hours, but the one silver lining is that the counselor and special ed chair for high school didn't seem tainted by the attitudes in the room and said they thought he'd find a much better fit in high school. They said they'd work to place him with teachers that they thought would be open to a more independent approach to learning and a more creative process for completing work.

I've tasted of false hope before, though, so I know how crushing it can be to believe the promise and then it not be any different. But I'm hoping it will be better. I do know that I won't let them drag me in like this in high school. I can't survive it.