I think that pathologizing typical gifted behavior is a cause for concern. I think that "selective listening" in an almost 3 year old sounds pretty normal - gifted or not.
I think the best thing is to spend time in the classroom, and see what the children are like. Putting a hightly gifted kid in a group setting with NT children can set the kid up for negative behaviors. I've BTDT. I also don't like Adults hovering over my kid trying to figure out "what's wrong with him." I think a kid would pick up on that, don't you?
If your child is having fun in early intervention, then it's probably good for him. If he isn't, can you bring him home? Three is very young, and kids who aren't in sync with their agemates have a lot to handle.
Best wishes,
Trinity
