Welcome, Reba! I see this is your first post.
Originally Posted by Reba
...said they don't have a G&T program, even though there website says it does, and other elementary schools in the district do...
You may wish to look into the other schools in the district to evaluate their gifted programs? There is a lot of information about finding a good educational fit, and also good information for positive advocacy approaches. Here are just a few...

1- Parenting tips on educational advocacy - http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10286.aspx
2- Recommended readings for educational advocacy- http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10291.aspx
3- Guidebook - http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Resources_id_14781.aspx
4- Reforming Gifted Education - http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Resources_id_14056.aspx
5- Academic Advocacy for Children: A Complete Guide http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Resources_id_14511.aspx

Originally Posted by Reba
...hates school... She is bored. She acts like the class clown. She doesn't feel like she fits in... We think, our daughter represents the "flip side" of giftedness. Messy homework, bored, acts out, etc.
Some gifted kids have found these books helpful in learning about, affirming, and accepting the ways in which they may be different from typical kids that they may be surrounded with in everyday life: The Gifted Kids' Survival Guide by Judy Galbraith, and If I'm So Smart, Why Aren't The Answers Easy?, by Schultz & Delisle.

Parents may find the book A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children by Webb et al, Living With Intensity by Susan Daniels, and Make Your Worrier a Warrior helpful and also parts of Searching For Meaning which may apply.

Good luck with this!