Originally Posted by HowlerKarma
And think carefully about what it means when your child is motivated to please others.
Some kids are complete and total chameleons socially-- they give everyone they know a slightly different version of themselves, and try to aim for the one that is most useful in the relationship.
My DD gives people what makes them feel comfortable and allows them to be relaxed and open. What that means in functional terms is that pretty much NOBODY sees all the way down. No way is being with a PG person in full intellectual flight a "comfortable" experience. Exhilarating, maybe-- but not relaxing or comfortable. So that isn't who she is for others.
Thank you for putting this into words. I have repeatedly seen my gifted child trying to "blend" in with kids around him to gain acceptance in his social circle and just be considered "one of those guys" so that he can "fit in". It ranges from reluctance to answer a question in the classroom when the teacher introduces a topic that is not new to him to "dumbing down" his sentences and grammar and vocabulary to sound just like someone else who is the "popular" guy in his circle of friends.
Yes, they are chameleons and know what to show others ...